¿Tú o usted? When to be formal
Spanish has two ways to say "you" to one person. In Spain, tú wins most of the time, but usted still matters.
English has one "you" for everyone, from your best friend to a king. Spanish gives you a choice: tú or usted. In Spain, the choice is easier than you might fear.
Two ways to say "you"
Tú is informal: for friends, family, children, people your age. Usted is formal and respectful. It takes the same verb form as "he" or "she", so «¿Cómo estás?» becomes «¿Cómo está usted?». In writing, usted is often shortened to Ud. or Vd.
When to use tú
Spain is one of the most informal parts of the Spanish-speaking world. You’ll hear tú between colleagues, from shop staff, in many cafés, and between strangers of a similar age. If in doubt with someone your own age, tú is usually fine.
«Puedes tutearme.»
When to use usted
Save usted for situations where respect or distance matters:
- Speaking to someone noticeably older than you, especially at first.
- Formal settings: a job interview, a doctor, the police, an official office.
- Formal writing, such as emails to people you don’t know or official letters.
- Upmarket hotels and restaurants, where staff will often use it with you.
Using usted with a young person in a casual setting can sound oddly stiff, even a little funny. Using tú with an older stranger can sound too familiar.
Switching to tú
Spanish even has a verb for using tú: tutear. If someone says «Puedes tutearme» or «¿Nos tuteamos?», they’re inviting you to switch to the informal form. It’s a friendly moment: accept it!
Spain vs Latin America
Many Latin American countries use usted more than Spain does. In parts of Colombia and Costa Rica, people use it even with family and friends. In Argentina, Uruguay and parts of Central America, you’ll hear vos instead of tú for the informal "you".
Useful phrases
Tap the speaker to hear each one in Castilian Spanish.
Tú and usted
A1–A2- ¿Cómo estás?[KOH-moh ehs-TAHS] How are you? (informal)
- ¿Cómo está usted?[KOH-moh ehs-TAH oos-TEHD] How are you? (formal)
- ¿Puedo tutearte?[PWEH-doh too-teh-AHR-teh] Can I call you tú?
- ¿Nos tuteamos?[nohs too-teh-AH-mohs] Shall we use tú with each other?
- Perdone, ¿me ayuda?[pehr-DOH-neh, meh ah-YOO-dah] Excuse me, could you help me? (formal)
Try it
You’re asking an elderly woman for directions in Seville. Do you say «Perdona» or «Perdone»?
Answer: «Perdone», the usted form. It’s the respectful choice with an older stranger.
A colleague says «Puedes tutearme». What do they mean?
Answer: You can use tú with them: they’re inviting you to be less formal.
